sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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