I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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