i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
