You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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