Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
