I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
