Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
