i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
