And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
