So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Jerry, you need to find god
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
