Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
