Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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