Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
