I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
