she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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