she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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