Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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