Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
