Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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