i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
