..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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