you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
