The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
