You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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