I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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