I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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