I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
