He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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