i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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