i think i have two assholes
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
