I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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