If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
