I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
