dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My vagina is very pro this idea
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
