How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
