your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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