so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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