Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
