This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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