if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
