"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize