Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
