I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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