I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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