i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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