Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
