Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
