he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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