Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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