I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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