In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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