I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
