But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
