it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
