Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
