look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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