once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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