Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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