Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
