Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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